I just peeked in on each of them. All of our children are sleeping. When Kalen, Madelyn and Julian open their eyes, it will be their first day of school. My face is wet from crying. I am okay, just . . . well . . . loving them to pieces and trying to take in all that is before us.
It has been a full day. We spent a lot of family time together at the pool and then went shopping for the must haves. We had a celebratory dinner and then the kids packed their backpacks and laid out their clothes before bed. I packed their lunches and wrote them all notes. Ready or not, we are doing this. I have been homeschooling them all for so long, this is going to be a huge transition for us. I have a hole in my stomach. This is the feeling of having to let go, right? Whew. Note to self- don’t wear mascara tomorrow.
I am sincerely happy for our children. For them to attend this school is such an amazing opportunity. I am trying to think on this and not wallow so much. I must say though, as I can hardly read this screen from my tears, I just adore spending all of my days with my kids. I love their presence, laughter, movements, and even their not so likeable moments. This transition is going to be a challenge for me. I guess the challenge will be to let go of control, trust them, enjoy their new independence, and continue to be their biggest cheerleader.
When I wave goodbye to them as they step into their first day of school, I want them to see their mother’s face full of hope, pride and love. Lord, help me wear that face.