We didn’t see it coming today. Our foster baby was taken and placed in the home of one of her family’s closest friends. The shock of this news was hard to take. But this is part of fostering a child. I knew that it would be difficult if we had to let a child leave our home, but I have never felt pain like this.
We are thankful for the past several weeks we were able to love and nurture this sweet baby girl. It was an experience like none other for our family. We will never be the same.
I am trying to think positively about how this is unfolding. However, the tears keep welling and I find myself thinking about what I would be doing if she were here. Like now, I would be either rocking her to sleep or waiting for her to wake for her next feeding. I am sad. I feel kind of numb.
Scott is by my side. Literally, he is kneeling by the computer chair and asking me what I need. This is going to make us stronger, I keep thinking.
Today there was mention that our foster baby may need some daytime care during the week, and I was asked if I was interested in helping. At first the thought seemed too painful to bear, but now, all I can think of is that I just want to see her again.
This week has an underlining theme for me. Letting go is difficult and heart wrenching. No one can prepare you for the hole in your stomach that comes when you wave goodbye and simply let go.